Ten Reasons I converted (back) to being a Redneck:

1.       Fines for fishing without a license are considerably cheaper than fines for SEC violations.

2.       The freedom to revel in the joy that is fried chicken and biscuits without shame.

3.       Fishing, hunting and knowing how to drive really, really fast make rednecks much better equipped to survive a Zombie Invasion or the Great Yuppie Apocalypse (which are so much alike will we know the difference?).

4.       Comfortable shoes without shame.

5.       Redneck men like strong, smart women.  Yuppies want Kim Kardashian. Rednecks want Danica Patrick.

6.       Barbeque.

7.       When you bail your redneck friends out of jail, their stories about getting into jail are always better than anything those silly white collar sissies could come up with.

8.       Fishing does not require makeup or a fancy hairdo.

9.       Having a second person plural pronoun like any other self-respecting, civilized language.

10.   Yuppies may have money, but rednecks have manners.

There are a few other reasons, but I ain’t adding them to the list for the whole world and my mother-in-law to see. You’ll just have to marry yourself a redneck of your very own to find out.

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